So Mort It Be

And here we have it: at the end of the seventh disc in the Tomb of Terrors set (of twelve discs total), and we have made it to what is likely to remain the best film in the entire collection. Again, like every other film in this set, it’s a zero budget film just made by a group of friends, so it’s not going to be for everyone, but within that context, writer/director/star Fabian Rush completely nails it.

First, let’s get the most notable aspect about the film out of the way: the special effects and green screening involved in the film are so over the top terrible that they turn right back around and become brilliant. You can get a brief glimpse of this in the trailer, where you’ll also get to enjoy a glimpse of the two main villains: a bloodthirsty coven of witches, and an army of giant mutated rats that look and act suspiciously like furry sock puppets. Furry sock puppets that kill.

This is all a part of the film’s main strength, which is that it’s pretty damn funny. We have such jokes as a main character that’s trying to score with a goth chick, so to try to win her over he wears a T-shirt with a pentagram on the front and “Christ sucks cock” on the back, and another character that enjoys Anti Christo Magazine because nuns are hot.

Another thing I like is that, mid-90s PC graphics aside, it showed me something I have never seen in any other film before. Now, it’s hardly the first movie I’ve seen where someone gets attacked with a dildo (oh, the revelations on this blog), but I’m pretty sure it is the first time I’ve seen someone get attacked by a flying CG dildo, and I’m definitely certain this is the first time I’ve ever seen a flying CG dildo attack get blocked by the defendant wielding a painting of Jesus.

Again, this is clearly not a professional film. It was something made by people with a digital video camera and some special effects program they likely bought at Best Buy. Also, it takes more than a little of its plot from the Deadly Spawn. That said, though, there must be some form of market for such delightfully goofy independent films like this (beyond just myself, that is), and I would highly recommend checking this one out to anyone interested in the same. In seven discs of zero budget horror films, this is the single best one yet. I’ll be back next week with the next disc, assuming it’s not so awful it makes me start openly weeping.

Rating: ***