Granny

So apparently it’s been a little while since I’ve updated this blog. I would apologize for the lengthy gap, but frankly, dipping back into the Tomb of Terrors set should be all the apology you people deserve. This is a bit of a landmark here, too, as I’ve now knocked out the seventh disc in the set, and so am now more than halfway through it. It’s been a long, dark journey, and I for one am proud that’s it’s now four movies closer to being mercifully over.

That’s not to say that all four movies on this disc are bad, but this first one here certainly is. Directed and co-written by Boris Pavlovsky, this is one of those movies where a group of friends gets together for a party and is picked off one by one by a mad killer. It’s a typical entry for the Tomb of Terrors set, both in that instead of a polished, professional film it’s done by a group of friends with a digital camera, and in that it’s not very good.

First, let’s talk about the ways in which is compromised by its effort to avoid any financial costs. This starts off with the time-honored tradition of talking to each other for the first half hour of the film (a classic maneuver, as dialogue doesn’t cost a dime), which becomes a problem when the writers can’t think of anything more interesting for them to discuss than a tedious and lengthy argument (I can’t call this a debate) on who’s better, men or women. I would directly quote some of the lines, but then you’d cry. We also have the title villain, who, no doubt owing to the high costs of roping someone’s grandmother into acting the part, is just one of the writers in a Halloween store mask/wig. There’s also a part where two characters are supposedly trying to drive away to safety, even though the car is visibly not moving. My best guess is that they were having trouble hearing the dialogue over the car engine, but if you’re going to be trying a thing like this, at least have the common sense to film it at an angle that doesn’t show an unmoving tree right next to the car!

The end twist is probably the worst part of a bad movie, however, as it means the film has completely cheated up to this point, while simultaneously trying and failing to rip off a fairly famous early 80s slasher movie in the process. I won’t reveal what it is here, but die hard slasher fans might be able to guess the twist just from that statement alone. It’s not completely without merit, of course -- if nothing else, it’s only an hour long, so it doesn’t linger overmuch, and I freely admit I laughed when one of the characters announces that he found a gun in the house, but they have to be careful with it because it only has one bullet. Thanks for that warning there, pal.

Rating: ½ *