Purvos

I’m not sure that there exists a level where this movie did not completely fail. The acting is the single worst I’ve yet seen in this set, the filmmaking is below sub-par, the script – what little of it seems to exist – is cliché and lame, and even the website is painful to look at. On the upside, though, it’s only 75 minutes long, so it’s got that going for it.

The film is about a serial killer, and a woman working at a sleep disorder clinic who stumbles across his path. See, all of her insomniacs had begun having visions of the murders committed by the killer, which proved her theories that insomniacs are psychic or something. It’s not easy to really get a strong feel for what was going on, as every single actor in the entire film talks in a slow, halting manner, often repeating the same lines over and over until I began to worry that the film’s plot involved time travel and I hadn’t picked up on it. While I was unable to find actual clips of the film’s dialogue, this video should give you some idea of what it was like watching it. Just add excessive pauses in the middle of sentences and sometimes partway through words, and you’ll understand what a treat it was.

The film’s title comes from how the killer has apparently taken on the identity of Purvos the Clown, though the mask he wears looks a hell of a lot more like the Scarecrow from Batman than it does any kind of clown. He does put on a clown suit at the very end of the film, as if that’s going to make it all better, but don’t be fooled. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised at this. After all, when the film can’t even manage to show a single murder scene clearly (thanks to a heavy overuse of filters, goofy camera angles, and quick cutting) despite being a serial killer horror movie, with a plot revolving around how insomniacs are psychic, I suppose a little continuity goof like a clown killer that doesn’t even vaguely resemble a clown isn’t that big of a deal.

There are movies out there that will make you angry at all the injustice in the world. Then there are movies like this, that will make you angry at the filmmakers for dumping this atrocity into your lap. I see that one of the 5 votes for this film on IMDB was a 9. I can only assume that vote came from writer-director Jerry Williams, and I hope he gets punched right in the face for such a blatant lie. Right in it.

Rating: Zero stars